i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
