i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
