remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
