Duck Duck Cougar?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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