R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
