We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
