we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
