i would punch a child for taco bell
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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