Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
