Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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