i wish my penis had a tongue
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
