Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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