Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
