Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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