Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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