Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
