He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
