what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
