There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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