People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
