Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
