you win again, gameday.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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