Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
