i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
