Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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