what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
