i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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