I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
