i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
