i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I looked at my own cervix.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
