could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
