Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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