Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
