so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
