There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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