margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
