Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
