he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
