Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
