Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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