She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
