508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
