Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
