if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
