Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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