Do you still have your period?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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