We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
