I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
