We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
