would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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