Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
