your parents love me but you hate me
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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