Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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