There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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